The Neopian Conspiracy Theories, 6
by Synnic
Summary: Now, here we go, a regular Villain, surely we know where we stand with good Old Malkus Vile. Oh, no! Think again!


The Neopian Conspiracy Theories - Part Six  
  
  
  
To begin with, I would like to thank everyone one who has been sending me ideas and comments, there are far too many of you to mention individually, but thank you! (  
  
Although there is still plenty we can talk about with regards to the ways the Neopian Shadow Government gains its funding and items, I would like to move on to some very strange individuals that have been seen in Neopia…  
  
  
  
The Brain Tree and The Esophagor  
  
Now this are a couple of the strangest characters I have seen around Neopia… A giant, spooky Tree and a quivering mound of putrid Mud!  
  
And not only do they talk, but also one is always hungry, and the other thirsts for knowledge!  
  
Ask yourself why would a twisted old tree want to know when and where people died and why would a puddle of mud know the answers? And why does the Brain Tree ask you when he already knows!  
  
If you try to give him the wrong information, he knows you are lying… so what exactly is the purpose of you going to find out…its almost as pointless as translating "How to Speak Koi" into Koi!  
  
Maybe something is happening in the Spooky Woods that They don't want you to know about…  
  
But lets look a little further into this, you go to see the Brain Tree, he asks you for information, so you have to go and feed the Esophagor…  
  
How does the Esophagor know? Did he kill them himself? If so, why? Was he really that hungry, or did they know too much, or get too close to the truth? Remember you're never told how or why they died?  
  
If the Esophagor didn't kill them, then who tells him the details? He doesn't exactly look mobile enough to go and find out for himself. And why doesn't this person go and tell the Brain Tree as well?  
  
Now, if you try to research these names, you'll find no information anywhere on any of these people that are supposed to have died… some of them a long time ago, some of them in the years BN, Before Neopia!  
  
But surely before Neopia there were no NeoPets.  
  
So what where Frank Zafara or Ursula Usul who carry NeoPet names, yet could not have been NeoPets?  
  
Then there's the strange fact that even if you are asked about the same person a dozen times, the answers you need to find are always different! I loose count of how many times I've had to go and get new details on Dave Kacheek!  
  
So if the details the Esophagor gives you are different every time, yet the Brain Tree knows when you're trying to trick him, that means that the two of them have to be communicating in some way – they know which answers are required and which have been given. Why don't they just tell each other the information anyway, and cut out the middleman!  
  
So you've found out about Ethyl Nimmo (for the 90th time), you've told the Brain Tree, and you're given a load of Neopoints and an item. But why? We've already established the information is fictional, as it changes every time – so are you being rewarded just to run around a bit?  
  
I think so, yes. I think there's something going on in the Spooky Woods that they don't want you to find out about, so they send you on a wild goose chase. Also you have to take into account the fact that you have to do two quests for the Esophagor to get the Date and the Place. Normally the first quest will be for a relatively cheap item – so you go and get it, only to find out that the second quest is for 19 Grundo Stix! Quite often I give up after completing the first quest… without reward…. Yet I've still handed over the items from the first quest… hmmmm  
  
  
  
The Negg Faerie  
  
Neggs are very strange things, they appear to be some sort of fruit or vegetable as they have leaves and a small stalk, but I've never heard of a Negg Tree, or Negg Plant. Also, I've never seen a Negg seed, and surely every natural food has to have seeds to it can carry on growing! Does this mean it was created in a lab? By whom? And are we risking feeding our pets too many "Neo-Numbers"?  
  
There are hundreds of varieties of Negg, and almost all have some sort of special effect. Then there are the basic boring ones, which you take to the Neggery and exchange for "Negg Points" which in time allows you to buy a different Negg.  
  
But why on earth would the Negg Faerie want these old boring Neggs?  
  
And if we can't find a source for even the basic Negg, where in Neopia do all these other Neggs come from?  
  
If you ask me, the Negg Faerie has got some explaining to do!  
  
  
  
1.1 Malkus Vile  
  
Now, here we go, a regular Villain, surely we know where we stand with good (?) Old Malkus Vile. Oh, no! Think again!  
  
The background on Malkus Vile is a little obscure, as one would expect with so notorious a criminal. His occupation is listed as "High-ranking Henchman of a top secret crime ring. It's so secret, we don't even know what it's called."  
  
Yet despite his strangely obvious advertising of his undesirable habits, I have found no real information on any crimes that he has committed!  
  
If we read a little further into his background, we find this;  
  
"Despite possessing great wealth and power, Malkus Vile is but one strand in a sinister web of criminals whose leadership and goals remain unknown. Why, not even a top ranking official like Malkus Vile knows who's in charge... Vile receives his instructions through anonymous letters delivered once a month by carrier Beekadoodle. This wall of secrecy has made the organisation nearly impossible to stop... after all, how do you take down a crime syndicate without a kingpin?"  
  
Surely this is a reference to the Neopian Shadow Government, what else could it be!  
  
At one point, Malkus talks about "an assignment carried out by one of our agents" and "the evidence he left behind could potentially expose this organisation and its activities" Does this mean that we might be able to finally expose the Shadow Government? Are we getting closer to discovering the truth? Or is Malkus merely another paranoid pawn in this convoluted game of chess?  
  
  
  
The Aisha Thieves  
  
This little known group hide out in a series of (also virtually unheard-of) tunnels and caverns under Neopia Central.  
  
(These tunnels may connect to the Deep Catacombs, a place where bohemians and artists hand around… don't they generally advocate a different lifestyle? And what's so secret it has to be kept underground? This is one I think we need to come back to at a later date.)  
  
There is rumoured to be around 20 of them, but never more then two are seen at any one time, why is that? Could it be that there are actually only two of them? Or maybe thieving is just a hobby for them, they actually work for the SG, and go out in pairs on their nights off to commit more mayhem?  
  
We have already discussed the possibility that the Alien Aishas may be connected in some strange way to the Shadow Government, but normal Aishas as well? Surely not, maybe the Aisha Thieves are just a case of what happens when Aishas go bad?  
  
  
  
1.1.1 Inigmah the Space Brain  
  
You've probably seen this strange creature hosting the Code Breakers game, yet thought nothing of it. Investigations into his background reveal evidence of a very disturbed character!  
  
He apparently has no friends, which is hardly surprising when you unscramble his arrogant quote "gihmani si tremars nhat oyu!" – "Inigmah is smarter than you!" This sort of boasting does not get you onto the Christmas card list!  
  
In his youth he was expelled from many a school for such crimes as fraud, hacking and embezzlement, hardly your normal extra-curricular activities!  
  
He later became involved with Dr Frank Sloth. After hacking into Sloth's account he was threatened with torture, so he had to make a deal with Sloth, which required him to hack and deactivate security systems. Yet in all our dealings with Sloth, there has been no mention of Inigmah's involvement, so if he's not working directly for Sloth, who is he working for on Sloth's behalf?  
  
Even now, his exaggerated brain may be trying to find ways into your Neopian Bank account!  
  
  
  
Well, I think I'll leave you with that reassuring thought! Heh heh. See you next time, and as always, you are welcome to contact me regarding any mysteries.  
  
  
  
Onugu 


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